The Golden Cobra
10pm, BBC Three
Welcome to The Golden Cobra, the mankiest Indian takeaway in Ebbw Vale. As we join the animated gang, Basil the owner is killing a rat with a cricket bat and then using the bat to stir the korma. Trouble is on the horizon asa health inspector arrives without warning. As you can probably guess, it’s pretty basic level gross-out comedy with a slight visual debt to King of the Hill, but with its own grubby ambience. Phil Harrison
Our Lives: Two Sisters, One Goal
7.30pm, BBC One
There’s a lovely story from Bannau Brycheiniog (formerly known as the Brecon Beacons) to kick off this new series of the documentary strand. Katy Yeandle and Emma Rees organise a football match between England and Wales for a charity established in memory of Katy’s son Joseph, who died of cancer. They have an ambitious wishlist: will their selection of pro players and celebrities turn up? PH
Celebrity PopMaster TV
8pm, Channel 4
Ken Bruce’s dastardly music quiz continues. Whether you’re watching A Place in the Sun presenter Jean Johansson struggling to identify Black Grape or marvelling at Claire Richards from Steps’s pop knowledge, it’s irresistibly shout-the-answer-out-loud TV. Hannah Verdier
Modern Movie Soundtracks at the Proms
8pm, BBC Four
An intriguing idea for this latest Prom as the London Contemporary Orchestra gets stuck into music from modern film soundtracks. These include All Quiet on the Western Front, Poor Things and Everything Everywhere All At Once. Edith Bowman presents from the Royal Albert Hall in London. PH
Miriam Margolyes: A New Australian Adventure
9pm, BBC Two
In Broken Hill, a remote ex-mining town on the edge of the outback, our Miriam is horrified by all the hard drinking and ’roo-shooting. But she feels at home in the iconic Palace Hotel, where cult movie The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was filmed. Ellen E Jones
Champions: Full Gallop
9pm, ITV1
Every other date in the horse racing calendar is building towards this one: the Grand National at Aintree, with a million-pound prize pot up for grabs. This documentary series goes behind the stable door to meet all the runners and riders, including amateur jockey Gina Andrews and 2023’s winning horse, Corach Rambler. EEJ
Live sport
Premier League football: Man United v Fulham 6.30pm, Sky Sports Main Event. The season opener at Old Trafford.
